Stuck

So it is currently 10:30 and I am procrastinating on going upstairs to pack my bags to leave for home in the morning. It has been a great week, and a very fast one at that. This is the first Friday in a long time that I was actually wishing it were not Friday. I do miss home and Bryan but I do not miss all of my "stuff" that I have to deal with. It was so nice leaving everything and enjoying a relaxing and fun vacation in a new place. I will write more about our adventures later, but there was one today that pertains to how I feel now.

We were at SeaWorld this afternoon which is really a neat place. So much better than the Oregon Coast Aquarium! There is a park in the middle for kids to play at, which is modeled after a giant ship. There is a large sand box beneath the stern of this tall ship, and at the top of the ship there are slides to go down. One way to go up is by net..like, rope net. My oldest niece (4)braved this with ease. Her little sister (2) tried to follow, not realizing her non-potential. My sister said to me, "She is probably realizing now what she got into and is wanting to come back" as we watched her struggle up this vast net far off the ground with the sandbox underneath. After realizing her struggle and seeing other adults start up this net, I volunteered without thinking to go help her. As I reached the point at which she was, I noticed she was breathing hard and very agitated. Thats when I looked down and realized how far up off the ground we were...not what it looked like from the bottom at all. Then I realized that trying to climb a net in flip-flops is pretty ridiculous. If I wasn't sweating enough as it is, this was my chance. Nonetheless, I ignored my imbalance, picked her up, and we kept going to the top. What my sister had said entered my mind, and I realized that I had not fully realized what I had gotten myself into! But instead of coming back, we kept going and I tried not to think about all the weight I was adding to this outstretched net. When we got to the top, I handed the two year old off to a pleasant looking stranger and pulled myself onto the stern. Then I told her we were never doing that again, and we sailed down the slide together. Of course, she headed right back to the net again. It was easy enough for her when someone else was doing the hard part.

So that is pretty much how I feel now...the same feeling I felt in the middle of the net suspended high above the ground at SeaWorld. I seem to have acquired a fear of flying and I made it here to Texas after realizing this. However, I am currently 2000 miles from home, and there is only one way back. My stomach is lurching right now at the thought of this. I can't stay and there is only one way out of this...and that is up. I did not realize what I would be getting myself into when I bought this ticket in January, but still I would not trade it for anything. Like the adventure in SeaWorld today, I am glad I did it and will look back on this vacation with fond memories...especially after I am safely back in Portland!