And so it goes...

There were two job openings at a public school right down the street from us that I applied to and spoke to a colleague about, who recommended me to the principal. I was dreaming about how perfect this job would be (though my current job is .7 of a mile down the street from me, this one is not much farther and plus I subbed there a lot so I am quite familiar with it), and I prayed over it every time I drove by (that God would move my name to the top of the list of 225+applicants). But today I got those darned emails that were "regret(ting)" to inform me that the position(s) had been filled and to keep applying for jobs in the future (as if I weren't already). Even though I am quite used to this routine, it still depresses me every time and I feel hopeless about ever having a public school salary (even though in comparison public teachers don't get paid that much) and a government supported insurance plan. Its still early in the season for hiring, but once I sign the contract for my current job (which coincidently arrived in my mailbox today) I have 30 days to back out. I have no clue what God wants me to do or what is in my future. This will be the third summer of job-hunting and I still have not acquired patience. It is so difficult not knowing what the future holds and trying to juggle my options (as this profession only really has a small window of opportunity each year). If this continues, I might be forced to look elsewhere in the state or even outside of the state, though at this point neither Bryan nor I really want that.

Maybe by blogging about this, there will be a miraculous change? As, like my sisters have experienced, it seems once I blog on something the situation changes rather quickly (i.e. our money misfortunes).

Let's hope.

First Grade Politics

Overheard in school today:

"I am a fan of Barrack Obama. He has a silly name like me."
(-by a boy who is of another nationality and his name in English is along the lines of "fast" or "quick". )

"Did you know...gas prices are going up to $5 a gallon this summer, so (*heavy sigh*) I don't know if I will be able to make it to your birthday party."

Following Bryan's visit last Friday, a little girl said this to her mom, after being asked if she liked having lunch with Mr. H. :

"Yeah, I liked it but it was ACKWARD." "Oh, why do you say that?" "Because I heard Mr. H. say that to Mrs. H., but they didn't know I could hear them." "Do you know what ackward means?" "No."

New TV

So I am not too proud to post this, after all the whining and complaining I do about not having any money and sinking further into debt based on unforeseen circumstances (not because of poor spending habits). However, Bryan and I have done well with our savings this month (I am putting into practice the steps I learned in Financial Peace University) and I feel like after all we have been through this year we deserve a treat. So, we bought a new tv. Mind you, this is a used tv and we bought it for a fraction of its original cost. Our neighbor upstairs is a med student and she has access to a list of items people sell as they move around the country on rotations. Thus the 52" screen tv you see above. Bryan and I are pretty stoked. Now we are officially one of those people who have a tv in every room of the house. Our others are only 20" and 13" however, so this was a tiny bit of an upgrade. Tonight we plan on watching a movie, though the apartment is in total upheaval as we have rearranged all of our furniture. I am lacking motivation in reorganizing the closets, which need to be done in a bad way. And SUPRISE- the weather turned out nice today so we might BBQ. Yay for Memorial Day weekend...tired and unproductive though we are.

Big Friday

Today was great...and will continue to be I hope! It is only 4:50 and yup- I am not at school! It feels amazing to have left at 4:45 (it could have been 4:30 if I did not talk as much to Britney). The big excitement for the day was Bryan came for lunch!!! He had a paid day off and I wanted Wendys! This totally rocked their world, especially the girls. And as luck would have it, it was raining outside so we all got to go into the gym for recess where Bryan had the pleasure of shooting baskets and being a Glohetrotter wannabe, looked upon in amazement by all the little guys. He taught some how to dribble and spin the ball on thier tiny fingers. My favorite part was when one little girl came up to me and said in a quiet whisper, as if it were a secret and I had not been living with this for the last seven years: "Um- Mrs H.? I saw your husbands undies. I saw they were blue." :-) Another little girl just shook her head and said "I see you have a big kid on your hands". Yep- Big kid or not, you gotta love him. I just have a sneaking suspicion that as parents, Bryan will always be the more fun one and I will be the rule-keeper.

This weekend is looking to be pretty low-key. The highlight was supposed to be a trip to the beach for the day, though the weather looks pretty crummy. I do get to meet with a good friend of mine (different from the post two days ago) and try on my bridesmaid dress and shoes, and meet with her other friend to help plan the shower. In a few minutes I have to go back to the school (go figure) for a catered dinner and silent auction. If I am still up for it, I may clean when I get home. Lately, Fuzzy has been acting as though he has a constant fire lit under his butt and no longer walks or saunters down the hall. NO joke- he literally leaps like a gazelle. We have not figured out why, but apparently he is trying some new tricks on the potty as well and yesterday he totally soaked the floor and rug with his urine (after messing up his aim in the litter box). He is such a wierd cat and I just wish I knew what goes through his little pea-size brain sometimes.

Well, better go...Have a happy Memorial Day!

If I had a million dollars...

Question numero uno: How much does the IRS get the pleasure of taking?

Question two: Why am I even pondering what I would do if I had a million dollars?

It was Tuesday night. I was stepping out of the shower and I hear a commercial on the tv for a game going on at *I think* McDonalds, where the top prize is 1 million dollars cash. Im not going to lie. It got me excited. Like REALLY excited...to the point where I began to fantasize about what I would do with that money, so much so that it almost felt like I really won it. Does that ever happen to you? Needless to say, I had a hard time falling asleep that night. Now, other than the fact that worshipping money and "stuff" is a sin, I feel silly for even getting writing about this excitement. But, in light of Memorial Day, when it is American tradition to get out and enjoy the "stuff" that money can buy, I thought I would share my little shopping list with you all.

I added one today after talking with a couple of friends who are moms in my class...they invited Bryan and I to go riding on quads (or are they more commonly called ATVs?) in Bend with their families this weekend. I thought, "Hey...this is a hobby both Bryan AND I could get into...just like my friends and their husbands (and even seven year old sons). Its perfect for Bryan because you can buy Honda ATVs and drive them really fast and it is LEGAL and it is perfect for me because I can actually do it and not just watch." (Flashback to riding 4 wheelers on my mom's family farm in North Dakota as a young girl...now that was FUN). So I took a little gander at the price of buying a couple ATVs and WHOA. Thus, the following list.

If I suddenly got One Million Dollars:

1.) Pay off all our debt (its the noble thing to do)
1.5) Establish an emergency fund of 3-6 months normal salary (thank you Dave Ramsey)
1.75) Give a bunch to the church.
2.) Buy an Acura TL Type S (Bryan), Acura MDX Suv (me...or, I would not mind just a Honda Pilot or CRV...I dont need to be too fancy...its mostly for future kids) and a Honda Ridgeline truck (for hauling the ATVs and the boat...see below)
3.) Buy a house...not a super nice one, just a modest two level with a front porch. I already have the perfect one in our neighborhood picked out and it happens to be for sale right now. It is on a street like Wisteria Lane on Desperate Housewives and all houses on the street put up Christmas lights every Christmas.
4.) Fund retirement and college accounts.
5.) Buy a boat and two ATVs.
6.) Invest the rest and give the dividends to other worthy causes, like sending my family on a vacation or something. :-)

Of course, there are lots of little things that we have never gotten around to purchasing, like a digital camera, a puppy, a drum set, furniture, wardrobe, electronics, elliptical machine...etc. But we can buy all that with our regular salaried jobs, since we would no longer be making rent and car payments and student loan payments....Ahh, now wouldn't that be nice?

P.S. In case it did not come off this way, I tried to make my list as unselfish as possible. I can think of many more people who could use a million dollars than Bryan and I. However, my dream and only hope in life is that Bryan and I can live comfortably and reliably. Bryan would MUCH rather buy a Porsche 911 but really flashy is not either of our styles. I just want to get to a place in life where we owe no money to no one and we feel set...and are not greedy with our money.

Wedding Bells Be Ringing...

Today I found out two awesome pieces of news: One friend is ENGAGED and one friend is PREGNANT (yes, I have a terrible tendency to check my personal email and text messages routinely throughout the day). My initial thoughts were joy, and then relief. Relief that I was no longer and not headed for either boat. I would not have time for another husband OR a baby. :-) But as the day wore on and I had time for a thought, I became nostalgic over planning my own wedding (it has been nearly FOUR years since we got engaged) and wistful (a word Bryan does not understand) for a baby. No, scratch that. Wistful for the emotions that would have me ready to have a baby. Those feelings are just not there. I hear a lot of pregnant moms describe themselves as nervous and I can totally relate. However, obviously, they are one step ahead of me. I actually had a conversation with one of my student's dad at the party over the weekend about this. He is my age and they got pregnant right out of high school. While he says they have no idea what it is like to be young, married and not tied down with a baby at least their kids will leave the nest when they are still relatively young (like when Bryan and I will start having kids in our 30's). So that is another school of thought to consider. If you are young, you are poor so might as well have kids so you can enjoy your free time later when you are more well-off. However, Bryan and I feel we want to have money so that we can give our kids a life where they don't have to worry about anything. So we are just living for the day, enjoying our time and what little money we have now. As for marriage, I have one best friend left with no ring on her finger though she is currently head over heels for "Hottie McHotterton" and we have spent many a recess in the last couple of weeks discussing and analyzing his every move and pondering her future...Ahhh, love. Its so great to see all my friends happy! :-)

I Love May!

So really it felt like this past weekend was a three day weekend. The above picture is one of my 1st grade class before we entered the Oregon Zoo for a final field trip on Friday (cute kids, huh?) The reason I say it felt like vacation was because all but THREE students had a parent or some other relative with them. Pretty much I farmed out the other three, made sure they had their tickets to get through the gate and said peace. My co-teacher and friend Brittany also shuffled her kids out and we ended up hanging out together on a bench in a remote shaded location with slurpees in hand (it was 95 degrees!) after making some brief rounds through the park. It was very relaxing and the kids had a ball. The only glitc h came when our bus overheated and I had to figure out how to get 17 very hot and very tired first graders home. Luckily, we had enough parents that drove their own cars AND the bus was fixed just in the nick of time so a few extra parents, kids and teachers could get back to the school (only 5 minutes after dismissal time!).

Friday night welcomed the return of our favorite little guy, Jacob. His mom is still in Seattle caring for her young sister who had to suddnely have a defibrilator put in on Friday. As you can see, Bryan and Jacob hit it off once again and I very quickly became the outsider except for at meals and naptime. And then at 1:00 am on Sunday morning when Jacob began to cough/heave/puke up very obvious remnants from each of Saturday's meals. The poor guy did not even wake up as he was gagging, so I, inexperienced in this department and fearful that he may choke on himself, decided to lay him down on extra sheets between us so that we could all sleep a little easier and not worry as much. At least, I slept easier. Bryan got slapped in the face a few times from flailing toddler arms and I even woke up once with Jacob passed out on top of me. But he was a good kid, as usual. He and I ran errands and helped Mom and Dad with some yard work on Saturday (I covered mowing while Jacob covered watering). We were so busy that he took a 3 hour nap in the afternoon and fell asleep early Saturday night, after I arrived home from a party.

Speaking of the party, it was the 30th birthday party of a friend from work (actually the mom of a former student). I had never been to such a party before. I can only hope and dream my 30th birthday is as cool but she totally deserved it. It was at a former "Street of Dreams" home overlooking Portland (I'm really not sure because I got lost trying to find it) and it was hawaiin themed, complete with a live DJ, leis, tropical smoothies and TONS of food. In thier backyard, they had tons of flowers and fountains and tables and a lighted basketball court and spa. In the whole hour that I got to be there it was totally fun. But unfortunately, Jacob was beginning to get sick at home and Bryan was beginning to get frustrated so I had to flee, in typical parent fashion. It was fun while it lasted, however.

Sunday was pretty quiet once I dropped Jakey off after church. I came home and folded laundry and watched a movie. THEN I decided to step up my game and apply for some public school positions that are posted on the web. One school that I am praying for in particular, and I have some inside sources at, has already had OVER 225 applicants apply for a single fourth grade teaching position. Of course, I felt pretty disappointed when I found that out. However, I still need to be thankful for the job that I do have and at least I will have this job until another opportunity becomes available. Though it is a tough decision to make because I really do love my current school, I need to do what is best for Bryan and I and that means a job with significantly higher pay, better health and dental insurance, and a retirement package. No matter how many people apply, I am trying to remember that God is ultimately in control and if He wants, He will keep me right where I am at or He will open the door to where I need to go next. I feel in my heart however that I will not need to be at my current school next year. But, who knows?

The reason I say I love May is because we are ALWAYS busy in May, and a lot of good things happen this month. Bryan and I began dating 7 years ago, moved into our apartment 2 years ago, I graduated from UP 2 years ago, bought my car 1 year ago, have a ZILLION birthdays in May, and we celebrate Mothers Day. Plus, the weather always starts to get really nice! For the last two weeks straight we have been busy every night. We WERE going to go swimming this weekend, but with the sudden jump in temperature everyone and their mom was at the pool. SO we went out to eat with Bryan's parents and I came home and watched the 2 hour season finale of Desperate Housewives on Sunday night. Last night (Monday) after work I went to meet with a family who I may potentially nanny for over the summer, and tonight was my final Financial Peace University class (Im a graduate again!!). The rest of the week will be more applications for jobs, grocery shopping, cleaning, a dentist appt and a catered dinner for a school fundraiser that supports the teachers at my school. Bryan has a lot of time off this Memorial weekend, so we will hopefully have the chance to do something fun (maybe a pilot run out at the track with his new car?!)

On that note, why does it happen that when one thing breaks, a whole bunch of other stuff starts to break? That always happens to us and I don't realize until things start breaking that we had it pretty well for a while. Does this make sense? The stupid, tiny little POWER button on our scanner/printer/copier that I dont even think we have had for a year is stuck now, the transmission on my low-mile Honda is starting to slip or something, the lock on our front door mysteriously jams up our keys now and we have to call maintenance, another dinner plate self-combusted in the microwave,....etc, etc. AND we are still having a hard time getting rid of Fuz's fleas...the reason I detest pets and is now so, so irritating. Grrr...But even so, past my griping, Bryan and I are doing well and at the moment are healthy so that is what is important. Now, since I am tired, I will be heading off to bed...

Tuesday

What a day....I am not sure why (well, I can guess...) I was in such a bad mood today. A lot of it is most likely PMS, a longstanding series of unfortunate events/mistakes, with a mixture of weather thrown in for spite. Brighter, sunnier days defintately have me happier (when they come around). But I also have a tendency to not only dwell on my own misfortunes, but those of others. Today I got a call at 9:15 from my friend and mother to baby Jacob (see prior post) saying that her sister was found unconscious this morning by her sister's husband. They live in Seattle, so Melissa was driving up as she called. Later today when I called back, it turned out her sister had had a heart attack in her sleep. Today is her sister's 27th birthday. To add to that, her sister had a baby about 2 months ago. Sometimes life is so confusing but I suppose it is another testament to never knowing what the plan for your life is. I was thinking later about the "poor me" mantra I routinely exercise and how just yesterday I was complaining about having a stupid extra connection in my heart and knowing that later it will probably have to get fixed. Then I remembered the doctor describing it more as a "nuissance" than a "danger" and I really do have to count my blessings. At least I can see this one coming, and I am no longer in any danger of losing my life. So tonight we are keeping that family in our prayers...

On another case in point, I actually forgot to take my class to PE ontime today. I had them working on DIY (do it yourself) projects with 10 minutes left before PE, so I got wound up in doing a little financial homework on the computer. The next time I looked at the clock, it is three minutes past their PE start time. While just yesterday I was beginning to think I was coming out of my foggyness, this little incident (the first this year that I made them late to anything...though I am routinely late to work myself) set me back once again. You would think I would have wanted them out of my hair after the day I had been having...I was so tired at this point of hearing their whiny little voices saying "teacher!" over and over. So we played the game of counting how fast they could all get their gym shoes on and get in line, so I would not lose any more of my precious time to myself. Maybe I am starting to get a little antsy for the end of the year...only three and a half more weeks!

P.S.

I cannot get the picture below to work as the animation that it really is. The squirrel is giving the other squirrel a massage. I got this in an e-mail for an apparent "Mental Health Awareness Day" last week :-)

Weekend Debriefing

This was another one of those non-stop weekends that on the one hand was a lot of fun, but on the other I am paying for it now as I sit here at my desk and try to get some stuff taken of though the lure of the bed is calling to me.

First of all, I wanted to say Happy Mothers Day to my moms, sisters, and friends who read this and are mothers. I am grateful to my mommy and respectful towards my sisters who have all ventured down the road into motherhood. I think the older I get the more scared I get. To be honest, I was TERRIFIED that I was headed down that road last week, but much to God's graciousness I was blessed Sunday morning when I woke up. I guess my body is out of whack again after the crazy couple of months it has been recently. But anyways, more power to all ya'll ma mas. I hope it was a nice day!

Friday night I came home and left again to go to a meeting at my church. They are finally starting a student ministry that I am excited to be part of the building up of. My church is still only 2 years old so it is really great to be able help out in any way I can. I have helped in the children's ministries before (like working in the nursery) but I do get a little stir-crazy from overexposure to the wee ones. Plus, middle school and high school is an incredible time of influence and impact. My pastor is really young and hip, and he is willing to do anything crazy to attract crowds of kids on a Friday night. It will be fun to see what this turns into. Plus, I got a free dinner of Chipotle burritos. After a quick stop at Mom and Dads, Bryan and I headed to the grocery store where we shopped until we dropped.

I woke up early Saturday morning to get the house cleaned up for my sister-in-law's arrival, with the niece and nephew in tow. The timing worked out perfectly, and I even had time to take a shower! The rest of the day we shopped for Bryan's Saturday night party and Bryan and some of his other family went to Wunderland to play games during the afternoon (he got the day off~). After slaving away in the kitchen (heating up instant cookies and instant cake in the oven, and sticking a nobake pie in the fridge) I was ready just in time once again for our family gathering of 16 people to celebrate Bryan's 24 birthday. Bryan actually enjoyed the time spent eating and opening gifts (usually he likes to dismiss his birthday) and fell right asleep after they all left. Meanwhile, I stayed up late with Kim making cards and watching Juno. It was a fun day.

On Sunday, we woke up and Bryan went to work, I left for church and Kim and the kids left to go back to Seattle. I stayed for the second service to assist in the Kindergarten Sunday School, and from there I headed over to my other sister-in-laws house for a backyard BBQ of even MORE family and friends, to celebrate Mothers Day. I lost track of the count. She was gracious enough to invite the in-laws of all her in-laws, so my parents got to come too. Bryan was also blessed enough to get off work early and enjoy all the ribs and chicken he could eat. When he and I got home, I fell asleep and Bryan went out to play in the garage with some new gadgets (don't ask me what) that someone at work just gave to him. He woke me up at 7:30 and off we went to go see "IronMan" compliments of Mark and Kendra, as part of his birthday gift. WHAT A COOL MOVIE! I was totally sure I would just fall right back asleep as it was guaranteed to be a silly movie based on yet another comic book, but I actually really liked it and Bryan REALLY,REALLY liked it (Christmas present idea...ding!). We got home around 10, and I folded laundry (somehow I managed to get that done) and watched the second to last episode before the season of Desperate Housewives ends. It was another fun day.

It was back to school this morning and I was late in my usual Monday morning way. I will skip over all the hairy details, but the kids are getting CRAZY! I was initially sad to see the year end, but they are gradually easing out of my control. I just might start counting the days. I left right at 2:55 today to head over to Bryan's work so he and I could ride together to my followup (its been a month!) appointment with my cardiologist. Good news is...looks like the procedure worked for the first bad connection. Bad news is...his parting words were..."Im sure I will see you again...just hopefully not too soon!" The second extra connection in my heart is indeed showing up on the latest EKG, but it is so far not misbehaving. With age, as the walls of my heart begin to slack I will probably have to get that other open connection taken care of. To have one open connection is rare...but to have two I guess is really "extra special". I just hope it does not act out for a long while. And the doctor is not too concerned, so that is good. He is a pretty down to earth guy (not cocky like you would expect)...sort of to the point where I do not mind paying him six grand. Sort of. He is so cool that Bryan and him ended up talking about Iron Man (okay, I admit, I brought it up) and other various comic book characters turned movies. After we finally left, we headed back to Bryan's shop to pick up his car and then we went to Red Robin to cash in his free birthday burger. It was a fun ending to another busy day.

Thus concludes Bryan's awesome birthday weekend celebration bonanza. This week is going to be busy with my financial class, Bible study and a field trip to the zoo, followed by another birthday party of a work friend on Saturday night. Bryan also has two tests this week to become an ASE certified "Master Tech." Whew! We better get to bed! Have a great week- it is supposed to get steamy!

What is wrong with me?!?!

So I believe in the last post or two, I mentioned how I seem to have lost my capacity for remembering things. As I sat here tonight at my desk, catching up on blogs, emails and other tremendously important artifacts of life, I noticed an interesting smell wafting through the air. I just figured it was my cat, whose fur was probably getting a little too hot under the lamp on my desk. But then Bryan came out of the bedroom a few minutes later asking if I smelled something burning. HELLO! He calls me out to the kitchen, where I successfully exploded two out of the five eggs I put on the stove on high heat 30 minutes before (in preparation to make egg salad sandwiches for tomorrow's lunches). EGGS EVERYWHERE!!!Though I do not claim to be Rachel Ray, I can honestly say I have never made a major mistake in the kitchen, though I suppose technically I wasn't in the kitchen, but therein is where the problem obviously dwells. Never will I do that again.

All this leads me to wonder, what is wrong with me?! Just in the last couple days, I have had to play memory association tricks with myself to avoid forgetting important tasks. Yesterday on the playground I remember vividly a conversation with someone, which led me to a point when I snapped my fingers and said "Ive GOT to remember to do that!" Neither she nor I can remember what that was, and I have been dwelling on this all day today.

Needless to say, I think Ive got a thing or two on my mind (maybe one too many!). Though I appear calm (my latest avoidance technique?) my brain is too occupied for new information, remembering important information, and remembering I left the freakin stove turned on!

One bit of good news is today I learned (upon advice from my sister to call) that I have now reached my out of pocket maximum for health insurance this year. (I was actually 100 dollars under). Its too bad I am not already pregnant and scheduled to deliver before December, so then I could have had a free delivery! Maybe I should go in for a total body checkup? Maybe a liposuction? Botox? hmmm...

Now, what was the next thing I was going to do?

Bryan's Friday night: My Friday night:
It has been a long week full of many activities and I am tired! I am about to leave to go kick it with some pals as I wait for my (drunk) husband to finish playing poker. It is looking to be a laid-back weekend with zero plans but a few errands. I have been fighting off a sore throat so I am anticipating feeling better after sleeping in tomorrow.

It was three weeks ago today that I had my procedure, and I am feeling good. In the last week my heart has not raced once so I am thinking this is a good sign! I seem to have lost my capacity for memory though...since the anesthia I have been more forgetful and spacey. Is this normal?