The Report

So I have mixed feelings about today. In the beginning, the doctor asked me really pointed questions about how often, how much, could it be set on by, yadda yadda yadda. I wasn't ready for that and to be honest I tried to ignore the signs and pass it off as "whatever". I was done being a "hypochondriac" and I just wanted to feel healthy. But I did have a list of concerns that ended up not being relevant to his questions. Though he was nice, he had a very serious face and I could not tell what he was thinking. Then all of a sudden BAM! He tells me "This is what you have. It could be two things." Wait, hold on. I thought you were going to run tests on me first? I thought I was not going to hear the bad news today and so I was not prepared. He wrote down the two possibilities on paper, handed it to me, then said "I am going to send you to another specialist at St. Vincents". He spoke metaphorically, saying he was a "plumber" of the heart and this other specialist was an "electrician" of the heart and he could do a better job with me because I apparently have an electrical issue like my sister, and not a plumbing issue like my two parents and father in law (which, by the way, we served as their afternoon humor as the spawns of three of their best clients. I bet the doctor was chomping at the bit to get his hands on me). The impression I got was that my EKG report was definately unique and these two doctors plus my primary had already conversed (which restores my hope in the medical system).

So what were the two possibilities? One is called Brugada syndrome, which is more serious and often calls for a defribiliator installment. The other is called Wolff Parkinsons White, which also requires a procedure that is less painless and just re-shocks the heart. To be honest, about the time I heard "Parkinsons" my stomach flipped and I lost it because all I could think of was my Dad. But it turns out that is not what it really is (I dont think). I kept trying to focus on anything besides what was happening: the panels on the ceiling, the brand of computer monitor, the color of the uniform the nurse was wearing, sunshine and lollipops, you name it. As soon as the doctor walked out I looked at Bryan and said "Don't talk to me" because I knew the minute he said anything, I would start bawling, which I did and was in the middle of when the nurse came back in to take my blood. Then of course the cool and composed doctor comes back in in the middle of my "episode" and tells me he just got off the phone with the other doctor and there is a very good chance it could be the lesser of the two evils, so that at least made Bryan feel better. If it were up to me, I would rather be on medication than have any sort of "procedure" no matter how big or small, especially when it touches my heart. That just grosses me out and makes my chest hurt thinking about it.

So anyways, I will find out more when I make my appointment with the next specialist ("sooner rather than later is better"). I did have another EKG, which confirmed no error in the first two, though I was still hoping for it to be a mistake, and I have an echocardiogram scheduled for Thursday, where they will just check the foundations of my heart and make sure all the chambers are structured as they should be. So as Bryan says, it is good news but it is not great news. As for me, after this is over, the next time I want to be in a doctor's office with my husband and a machine is when we are pregnant, ten years down the road.