Fuzzy!

So this picture is one that Bryan first found in a magazine or book that we cannot remember and then I found it later in another magazine. It is funny because this picture resembles Fuzzy, our own cat, in physical appearance and also attitude. This cat has a "whatever, dude" demeanor and I guess it would have to in order to put up with wearing these antlers. Fuz also has to put up with the antics of the kids he has to live with as well. Yesterday Bryan figured out on a cat calculator that Fuz is 38 years old and so far he has survived one year with us!

Last week I commented on the previous week's challenges. I was thinking about this further and I believe that God gives you challenges to grow you. On the previous post (so two posts back) I was in a very happy state and things were going so smoothly. If we were to live like that all the time, how could we grow as individuals? Of course, it would be nice to live in a 24/7 paradise where everything runs perfectly like clockwork, and many of us are looking forward to that in the Great Hereafter but for now, I look at challenges like they are compliments from the Big Man (or "the Greatest Mac there is" -Snoop Dogg). He is saying to me "Okay Michelle, I have blessed you and your are praising me for it so now let's see how you can handle THIS." Of course I am human, so I respond in very human ways (anger, frustration, hopelessness, etc) but then I realize that I can get over myself and give it all back to God who will help me through. God will never give us challenges that we cannot handle. OKay, so that is my very own Sunday night sermon delivered especially to you. I just felt I needed to elaborate a little on where I was going in my last blog.

As for the past week, it all went by in a blur. I have debriefed with my sister from Idaho, who is now back in the potato state after a very short visit, and we have come to the same conclusion: Christmas is just not what it was. Of course, the REASON for Christmas never changes. But the traditions that my parents instilled in us since we were tots is all too quickly fading away into newer traditions split between our original immediate family, our in-laws, and the families that we are creating within our own marriages. It was hard to stop life (especially when work ended just days before Christmas and my house was a MESS) to visit with family who came from out of town and put their own lives on hold to see you. In our family, we try hard to do this because EVERYONE is out of town these days (Washington, Idaho, Texas...) and typically we spend all the time together that we can, playing games, eating, watching movies, talking, etc. But this Christmas was just wierd for Bryan and I. We are still trying to figure out how to divide our time between two families, and now we are the only couple on my side without kids (there goes the tradition of watching movies and playing games together around the table on Christmas...) and the dynamic on his side keeps changing as well with siblings getting married and nieces and nephews visiting. We need to make traditions of our own, and that is also how I know my sisters feel as well with their new families. It is getting harder and harder to come home for the holidays, especially as families keep growing. My poor parents will also have to come up with traditions of their own as they figure out who to go to for what holidays, though this should not be new to them as they moved away from their own families when they were younger! So I guess thus we enter a new stage in life...sigh....goodbye Christmas traditions of the past! Welcome new traditions !

And on the subject of kids...brace yourself. I know this is going to greatly disappoint some of you readers. Bryan and I have reached a decision unanimously. We each came to this decision on our own and agreed on this decision together...praise God! We are thinking that we will NOT be having kids anytime soon. I mean, our original plan of waiting 3 to 5 years has been pushed back farther. If we were to stick to our original plan, we would have to start the baby making process in summer of 2009, which is basically a year and a half from now. SCARY! In no way are we ready to start that project when there are so many other things we want to be doing. As Bryan says, there is no room on my "Daily Do" which is the list of things to do that I make for everyday of the week. And judging by how fast the last year and a half has flown since we got married, we do not have the time to be parents right now. Plus, Christmas was a good wake up call to the realities of how having kids can change a person. This is not a bad thing, however. I am just not ready to have my life interrupted and tip toe around to keep a baby happy. Plus Bryan still wants to keep building cars and maybe his own garage. Before he does that, he is toying with the idea of taking more classes. I also have a long term goal I have yet to get to, and that is writing books. So my point is, while I know that there are no greater rewards than being a parent, neither my husband nor I have the time, patience, energy (I already have that zapped by the 19 first graders I deal with on a daily basis) and obviously financial means to raise a child right now. So how long do you have to wait for a (GRAND) child from us? Right now we are thinking it could be as long as 10 years. But hey, we got married young, so I think though we will be slightly older, we will be much wiser and more mature to be better parents. I never wanted to be a really old mom but right now I still feel like I am mentally younger than what I am so it could even out. So to all of you out there who like to ask...here is your answer. And if Bryan and I happen to pick up a baby while you are watching....we already know what you are thinking and no, this will not be us in a year, or two, three, four...so sorry to disappoint you!

(P to the S: After carefully reviewing what I just babbled on about, I am worried that my reasons for not wanting kids may sound selfish, though at this point in my life I think it is important to clarify that I feel that to have a baby simply for my own enjoyment right now would be even more selfish. As long as we are feeling led to by God, Bryan and I are finding satisfaction in helping others and volunteering our time and services for others, and this usually involves other kids who are not our own. But we do realize that if some Bryan Jrs were to somehow appear, it would be a gift from God and we will accept it with open arms).

As for the rest of the week, Bryan and I enjoyed the time off together and we finally got the knack of how to sleep in again. Today I believe it was 11:45 before I finally rolled out of bed. However, we have been staying up really late. In another week from now, I will need to have that little habit broken! Bryan goes back to work on Wednesday...sigh. We had fun vegging out together and running errands. We even did something new and went to play Pool at the local bowling alley one night, which was kindof a nice change from our usual outtings. I also got files in the office organized, caught up on some long anticipated reading, got my calendars in order for 2008, and today we headed back to the gym after a long leave of absense! I seriously cannot remember what else we have been doing to keep busy, but it feels like I have yet to sit down! The laundry was extra light this week because I did not have to wash our "career" wardrobes as we have mostly been hanging out in pjs all week so that was nice! As for the next couple of days, we will be going out to dinner and a movie tomorrow night and we will have some friends/family over to watch the ball drop and then on New years day is our movie marathon! Woo hoo! We already have a collection started and I am so looking forward to this!

And here is a silly question going out to my family...the only ones pretty much who read this: Do you remember the blue light in the staircase? LOL. Bryan and I were walking by colored light bulbs on display at Fred Meyer the other night and I was overtaken by giggles over this long repressed memory of how WIERD it was that we had a blue light inside our house and how much we hated that thing and wanted it to burn out but it never did. I had not thought about that for at least 15 years, but it was funny to have something that seemed so significant when you were younger seem so trivial now when it just comes back to you out of nowhere! I told Bryan we should change out all our light bulbs to party lights but he wasn't too keen on the idea.

Well, this will probably be my last post of 2007! Have a very happy and safe New Years!

Yay! :-) XOXO