I love Christmas time. I really do. And in my effort to keep this brief, I do not feel I have to explain why. But today was a bad day. Usually something goes wrong every year with either the lights, the tree, the baking, and not to mention the shopping. Well, I have not finished the shopping but I am hoping this year it is just the tree that went awfully wrong. Now, when I try to explain how BRYAN feels about the holidays picture Husband #1: That doting husband you see in commercials who is happily trudging in snow with you and the kids looking for the PERFECT Christmas tree and then he comes home and gives you a kiss under the mistletoe with a gift from Kay Jewelers (because every kiss begins with Kay). Now imagine Husband #2: Lets review the Grinch from how the Grinch Stole Christmas. Any idea which husband Bryan is? Yep- I married the Grinch. Last year I was still 6 months into marriage so I didn't let it phase me. This year, specifically today, it just downright pissed me off.
Now, we were lucky enough to find the same Christmas tree farm we went to last year and it just so happened that 1/2 of the cost of the tree went back to the school I work at so that part was great. But it was Bryan's attitude. WHY does he have to put me in a bad mood just because he "isn't feeling good." Why can't he just suck it up? Usually when I am in a bad mood I just sulk in it quietly. But HE has to let everyone know...and today of all days! So our fun adventure of going out to find/cut/bring home a tree ended in literally holding the tree with our (freezing) bare hands through our sun roof so it would not fly off because Bryan didnt want to take the time to put on extra rope, and then when we got it home, he had a tough time sawing it and after we brought it in, I lost my balance and it fell on top of me and then the best part came after I watered it, and we discovered our tree stand was leaking out the bottom, creating a huge mess all across our newly cleaned carpet. So now guess who caught the bad mood? ME! I was so angry I felt like I was going to burst and there was nothing I could do but wait for the eruption.
So Bryan and I went our seperate ways in the afternoon and both of us eventually calmed down. The best part of the day came when the good ol' state of Oregon sent us our "kicker" check so we decided to celebrate the ending of today in a fun way and we went out to eat and I ordered an (Absolut) Lemonade. Not to say that all bad days should end in alcohol. But today I felt it was deserved. And since it pretty much feels like free money? Why not. Of course, the majority of the money is going to credit cards (thats right Dad, I did learn responsibility from you!).
Dinner was good in another way, though. We both had a chance to open up about why Bryan dislikes holidays and how I do not want to spend holidays alone for the rest of my life, explaining to family, friends and my boss at work why my husband was not at the holiday party (which I had to do this week!). I think it is safe to say we have reached an understanding. And along the lines of holiday stress, I really do think there is an evil force out there behind the materialism and the commercialism of the holidays, which is why consumerism is taking over the real meaning of Christmas. I just cannot let it get to me. So who cares if a tree falls on top of me? Maybe Bryan is right- maybe we do not really need a tree after all to truly celebrate Christmas?
Other highlights from the week: A trip to my sister-in-laws new house with her new husband on Tuesday night. It is nice to have them back from their honeymoon and now living close by. I feel like she and I had a chance to connect on a deeper level while the boys watched tv. I like talking to her because she explains parts of Bryan to me that I still do not understand. And she apologizes for him, which is nice to hear! Ha ha...just joking...kind of...Bible study came Wednesday night, and a field trip to the Nutcracker on Thursday! It was very nice and I could not have asked for a smoother field trip. The kids were angels and the parents so helpful, and watching the ballet was a lot of fun! Upcoming this week? A trip to the grocery store and a the Christmas musical starring my darling first graders on Thursday night. Oh, and a White Elephant gift exchange on Saturday at Heathers! Now I can finally get rid of the crap I have been saving for this exact purpose! Have a good week!
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2 comments:
Drink and be merry!! :)
Well, in a marriage, both spouse have to do things and go places that they don't particularly enjoy. That is just part of supporting the other. I drug Dad to some OB parties he didn't want to go to and I went to some Tek things that were boring to me and I was miserable. That is part of share and share alike. I hope you can work this out. Nana
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