The Meltdown Week.

I've never been a huge fan of the word "meltdown" because I believe it is just a nice way for parents to excuse their child's tantrum and chalk it up to being tired, hungry, etc. Tuesday night I threw a tantrum like a baby. It was embarassing but also relieving ( i love to cry so long as no one is watching). I wasn't necessarily throwing punches, but I sat on the couch watching American Idol and sobbing. I think it is because it is tax season and this year is looking grim. Plus, my husband has been so busy working on cars he hasn't had time to take a closer look. But that wasn't really my only issue. Thinking of spending all of our hard earned savings on taxes reminded me that I have to start thinking about a summer job again, and so on and so on. Its funny that with all the physical issues I have had recently, I stress out more about finances. Its like I don't worry about my heart because I know that is in good hands with the doctors but we are all on our own with the money. Of course, I know we are not COMPLETELY on our own. With a little faith and a little prayer I know it can be okay, but it is the faith part that is tricking me (I am that pagan Jesus was talking about in the Bible). I know everyone is feeling the pinch so I will stop griping about it.

So I was not in the greatest of moods this week, but a funny thing happened when Thursday came around: a light at the end of the tunnel (and an end to my PMS :-)): The weekend! So far this weekend I have watched three movies, spent some quality time with Bryan and we are about to go out to dinner and to the mall for more fun tonight, I took some kids to the park while it was still sunny, went on a walk alone, I had a massage and a good nap! We also went to church today for the first time in awhile...the church we went to was by default because we missed the start time for the real one we wanted to try, and we drove past the second one we wanted to try, so we ended up at Brookwood Baptist where Bryan's parents go. In two weeks we are going to try Sonrise, which Bryan suggested and I am looking forward to because we know some people there.

All in all it has been a relaxing weekend, but I am REALLY looking forward to next weekend when we can relax and have fun with family and be away from home and any residual guilt about not doing what we really should be doing. Plus I have been waiting to go to the beach all winter! So even though Mondays are never fun, I am ready to get this four day week over with so we can enjoy our three day weekend! No more meltdowns for me!