Things to think about...

This year, I will be.....wait for it....28 years old. That makes me officially old. On my 27th birthday, I officially became an adult. Now this birthday I will just be an old adult. This is how I feel mentally, and in addition, something in my body is telling me that too. I think that whole "biological clock" thing is not some made-up term to tempt people into having kids. I believe it exists and its dangerous. Because we were fine with waiting a looooooooong time. In fact, I believe I have blogged about it. However, things change out from nowhere, even when the thought of interrupting our fancy-free lifestyle still doesn't sound that enticing, something down yonder is telling me otherwise.

And, before we go jumping on the bandwagon with the trend of making babies, there are a lot of distinctions about Bryan and my life right now that are a little bit different than your average twenty-somethings. This is what I woke up to thinking on and dwelling on Saturday morning. I laid in bed for quite awhile trying to make sense of our lives and how we could fit a baby in. Alas, there were no easy solutions. I even made a pro/con list a few months back, and the cons far outweighed the pros. The only thing that can solve this dilemma is Divine Intervention. I know God has a plan, and I certainly hope the plan is kids- soon. However, a lot of things need to be figured out, such as:

*Housing. Currently we live with a sibling who is even farther removed from the idea of introducing a baby to our dwelling. However, Bryan and I have gotten used to splitting our bills three ways.

*Jobs- Bryan is, well, unemployed at the moment (due to a fire that broke out after business hours and destroyed his shop he has been at for 5 years), and he is just growing his own little business, which he wants to have established before starting a family. Me- I have been at the same school for four years, and each year I say will be my last. I would love sometimes to take a break and try a desk job, but teaching is the only job that has a schedule conducive to family time on summers and holidays, unless I work part-time. Plus, I can't start a new job and then get pregnant.

*Insurance- this is the big one. I have quite a medical history already that most people my age do not. The insurance we have right now is quite spendy, but because of my history, we cannot switch. Even if I got another job that provided insurance, if we ever wanted to go back to individual coverage (like if i substituted) no one would let us on their plan.

So that is where I sit right now. On the flip side, because of these health concerns, the younger I am when having a baby the better. Also, life is just more fun when you have kids, and we could use some more entertainment.

I always start worrying this time of year (after the sensationalism of the new year has worn off) about what the new year will bring for jobs and finances. I have to remember to leave it in God's control. But I am worried that 2011 is not off to a great start (with Bryan's unemployment and the shop closing, sickness/infections, financial burdens, stress with friends/family, etc)...I guess time will tell how the rest of the year will go. I keep praying for changes so I guess we will see what God has in store!